Sooooooo, life is going in a new direction for the meantime. I have made a decision to make life better for, 1 myself, my children... my wife, and my extended family. My step daughter Jasmine, though I call her my daughter, has been there by my side for everything, making her objections known that she does not approve of my drinking... her and other people as well. DAMAGE!!! (more on this damage thing later).
What happens when you get a broken arm... you go to someone that knows how to fix it, eh? Well, my mind is broken, and the bible tells us what we need to do- to seek guidance from the elders from a church (I say from 'A' church because I am not currently a member in any church at this time). God has brought someone in my life that has gone through exactly what I am going through. And talking w/ him, he has made an analogy of a basketball court with God inside of it. I too was inside. I have gone out of bounds recently by drinking and smoking, as well as casting my line out over the boundary line ... ... ... So to speak, I went outside the boundary of the game (not living according to the way that God wants us to live). God gives us the bible for many reasons, one of them is how He wants us to live. We need to decide if we are going to live a life of sin (going out of bounds) or live life according to how God intended us to live (staying in-bounds).
I havent made God priority number one in recent past. He is in me. He will never leave me nor forsake me, no matter if I get angry at him. I have asked Jesus back into my heart, but He has never left me. He has been there w/ me as I go throught the valley. He is there to help and heal me, to bring me through my trials...
I'm tired, I am going to bed... and I chose to live my life according to the bible. Peace out.